And they call it progress...
Wow, I am so amazed at all God has done in my life in just the last two days...makes me want to live smack dab in the middle of His will all the time...it's when I'm there I am truly happy! It all actually started with my friend Teresa's post about the Fear of God...it got me thinking about where I am in the scheme of things. Since I have returned to Florida my life has literally gone full circle. Upon arriving home I found it necessary to seek shelter somewhere aside from my parents' house and in that move alone I have become a different person. Determination is something I've never really stuck with, but this time it has been different. A lot of things have been different in my life. I went through a period of rebellion after moving out, but I have escaped from that now and have come back to the place I feel I left such a long time ago...the moment I stepped into the Penske moving truck to leave here a little over two years ago to begin my "new life" which ended up being such a hardship. I have taken time to reflect about what those two years of my life add up to.
Texas taught me that I can manage without my friends and family even if I don't always like it. Texas taught me that I don't like hospitals, doctors, dentist and giving blood. Texas taught me that I still had a lot of growing up to do. Texas taught me not to be naive about people. Texas taught me that I can live anywhere. Texas taught me freedom. Texas taught me what love isn't. Texas taught me I have choices. Texas taught me that "stuff" isn't important. Texas taught me I can live without. Texas taught me a lot about myself. Texas taught me about the world. Texas taught me reality. Texas taught me to know what I want. Texas taught me that I am nothing without God. Texas taught me I can have everything then nothing. Texas molded me into the person I am today.
If asked if I could change how I lived my life, the choices I made and everything I had to endure, would I? No. I am a better person because of it.
I can honestly say I am ready for whatever God has in store for me. Although I feel sometimes this phrase is overused, it's the best way for me to explain how I feel...God has given me a peace about what is to come in my life. I am ready to settle down, so to speak. I have never felt this prepared about anything in my life. I don't want to be a pushover or a "go with the flow" type of person anymore. I want to stand strong in my beliefs and I want them to be reflected in my life like never before. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Without Him I am nothing. Nothing.
There is a country song that has come out recently that speaks the truth..."if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans". For years I've had a Life List and I'm not saying it's not good to have goals and so forth, but it is not okay to make all the decisions beforehand. We have to seek God...when we plan too much we leave God out and that's when we miss out on the blessings He has for us! I have recently become friends with someone who has such a great outlook on life and that's how I want to be. I have thought a lot about the future and althought I consider myself to be more spontaneous than much of a planner, I have asked God to prepare me for the future. I have prayed for the man God would have me be with someday and to train me to be prepared for children. I want my life and the life of my future husband and future children to reflect those things as well and I know the only way that is going to happen is by relying on God. Living my life for Him, giving Him the glory!
I know some of you are probably wiping your eyes and rereading some of those last few lines because I don't talk much about having children, but it is something that was brought to my attention by my doctor. Because of some of my previous health issues, I will more than likely be a high risk pregancy and although I know God can do anything, it made me really think about children. I have always done well with older children and babies, but preschoolers scare me. I have always felt like they could tell I had no clue...how do you relate to a preschooler? So, even though I am still okay with the fact that I might never have children unless I adopt, I am okay with the fact that I may indeed one day have a preschooler. God said He would never give us more than we could handle!
Well, that's about it. I really do hope God leads me to share more often since I have gotten away from posting on here. I really love to write and share, but sometimes I forget, get tired, don't have time...but He has given me the gift and I should use it for His glory!
Texas taught me that I can manage without my friends and family even if I don't always like it. Texas taught me that I don't like hospitals, doctors, dentist and giving blood. Texas taught me that I still had a lot of growing up to do. Texas taught me not to be naive about people. Texas taught me that I can live anywhere. Texas taught me freedom. Texas taught me what love isn't. Texas taught me I have choices. Texas taught me that "stuff" isn't important. Texas taught me I can live without. Texas taught me a lot about myself. Texas taught me about the world. Texas taught me reality. Texas taught me to know what I want. Texas taught me that I am nothing without God. Texas taught me I can have everything then nothing. Texas molded me into the person I am today.
If asked if I could change how I lived my life, the choices I made and everything I had to endure, would I? No. I am a better person because of it.
I can honestly say I am ready for whatever God has in store for me. Although I feel sometimes this phrase is overused, it's the best way for me to explain how I feel...God has given me a peace about what is to come in my life. I am ready to settle down, so to speak. I have never felt this prepared about anything in my life. I don't want to be a pushover or a "go with the flow" type of person anymore. I want to stand strong in my beliefs and I want them to be reflected in my life like never before. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Without Him I am nothing. Nothing.
There is a country song that has come out recently that speaks the truth..."if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans". For years I've had a Life List and I'm not saying it's not good to have goals and so forth, but it is not okay to make all the decisions beforehand. We have to seek God...when we plan too much we leave God out and that's when we miss out on the blessings He has for us! I have recently become friends with someone who has such a great outlook on life and that's how I want to be. I have thought a lot about the future and althought I consider myself to be more spontaneous than much of a planner, I have asked God to prepare me for the future. I have prayed for the man God would have me be with someday and to train me to be prepared for children. I want my life and the life of my future husband and future children to reflect those things as well and I know the only way that is going to happen is by relying on God. Living my life for Him, giving Him the glory!
I know some of you are probably wiping your eyes and rereading some of those last few lines because I don't talk much about having children, but it is something that was brought to my attention by my doctor. Because of some of my previous health issues, I will more than likely be a high risk pregancy and although I know God can do anything, it made me really think about children. I have always done well with older children and babies, but preschoolers scare me. I have always felt like they could tell I had no clue...how do you relate to a preschooler? So, even though I am still okay with the fact that I might never have children unless I adopt, I am okay with the fact that I may indeed one day have a preschooler. God said He would never give us more than we could handle!
Well, that's about it. I really do hope God leads me to share more often since I have gotten away from posting on here. I really love to write and share, but sometimes I forget, get tired, don't have time...but He has given me the gift and I should use it for His glory!
posted by JoAnna at
5/15/2007 02:39:00 PM
2 Comments:
I'm totally honored that the silly little stream-of-consciousness blabber of mine was used by God to make you think. I tried to re-read it, and I just got a headache!
Anyway, I'm so proud of what God is doing in your life! I cannot wait to see you this weekend! I'm hoping and praying it works out!
Good for people to know.
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