Alabama...

Alaska, Arizona, Arkana...wait, I went too far...Alabama was all I needed. Yes, I went there this past weekend to met Daron and his boys and while I was there I met his mom, dad, stepmom, sister, bro-in-law, their two kids, and his friends from church. Whew! I'm surprised I remembered everyone...at least I hope I did.

As most of you know, I was a little apprehensive about meeting his boys...not really with a fear that they wouldn't like me or me them, but you never know how children are going to respond, but as soon as I came in the door they broke the ice rather well with "Daddy! She is taller than you!!!" To which Daron responded that I only appear taller because I have longer legs...we are actually about the same height. But those boys are so cute and well behaved...much praise to their daddy for raising 'em right! Go, Daron! :)

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yes, I had a really nice, great, wonderful, awesome...oh, oh, yes, um, time with all of them. The drive took me about 5.5 hours and, of course, on the way I gained an hour and lost it on the way home...funny how that works! So, I got there around 9ish and Daron was kind enough to meet me at Burger King so I could follow him to the hotel room to unload my stuff before we headed over to his place. Well, the drive to the hotel took a little longer than I expected and I think Tara kept thinking I would tell her I had to go (on the phone), but I just kept talking. You see, they live in one town and I was staying in the neighboring town and just my luck, on the other side of the neighboring town. Once again, Daron, was nice enough to have scoped out the hotel's location before I arrived so he could take me straight to it. It was a Microtel Inn...I have a fondness for them...they are usually relatively inexpensive and they have all been pretty nice and clean. And, the part i like the most is that all the rooms share an interior corridor which is much safer for a woman (or anyone) traveling by themselves than one with exposed exterior doors. I told Daron about this and he said it was a good point. The room was small, but neat, clean and had ice cold air!

Okay, I keep getting off the subject...I know you could all care less about my hotel room...I can hear everyone in the background chanting "Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!"...okay, so, Daron is a really great guy and I like him a WHOLE LOT!!!! :) And I'm pretty sure he likes me too...well, I know he does...and I think his kids like me and well, everyone just likes everyone! That is a GOOD thing! I am so funny because I cannot think of anything else to put on here...so, if you have questions, please feel free to ask and I will post the questions along with the responses...really, I will!

I guess I can say that there is good chemistry between us and we are a lot alike and yet different. Our lives have been very different from each others, but we've both learned a lot from the past and don't want to be "repeat offenders" so to speak...

Well, that's all for now! Any questions?

My Wonderful Weekend :)

Wow, where do I begin? Really, I am unsure. Many of you have been waiting for this update, I am sure and I want to make sure I cover all my bases so to speak. Well, first off, thanks to all of you who checked up on me with text messages and phone calls, you are the kind of friends I know I can always rely on!

If I could use one word to describe my weekend, I would have to say “amazing”. This person who has come into my life is like no one else I’ve ever had a relationship with. Someone who cares about me for me and is not trying to change me…someone who makes me laugh and is as crazy as I am (yes, that’s a good thing)…someone who has a great outlook on life and has a big heart. Wow, God is good…

I am looking forward to learning more and more about him and his family. I am going there to meet them this weekend and I am scared and excited, but I know everything will be fine because God has His hands on this, that I can say without a doubt.

This may seem vague, but I will share more as time goes on…besides I’ve got to keep you in suspense…that’s what great writers do!

And they call it progress...

Wow, I am so amazed at all God has done in my life in just the last two days...makes me want to live smack dab in the middle of His will all the time...it's when I'm there I am truly happy! It all actually started with my friend Teresa's post about the Fear of God...it got me thinking about where I am in the scheme of things. Since I have returned to Florida my life has literally gone full circle. Upon arriving home I found it necessary to seek shelter somewhere aside from my parents' house and in that move alone I have become a different person. Determination is something I've never really stuck with, but this time it has been different. A lot of things have been different in my life. I went through a period of rebellion after moving out, but I have escaped from that now and have come back to the place I feel I left such a long time ago...the moment I stepped into the Penske moving truck to leave here a little over two years ago to begin my "new life" which ended up being such a hardship. I have taken time to reflect about what those two years of my life add up to.

Texas taught me that I can manage without my friends and family even if I don't always like it. Texas taught me that I don't like hospitals, doctors, dentist and giving blood. Texas taught me that I still had a lot of growing up to do. Texas taught me not to be naive about people. Texas taught me that I can live anywhere. Texas taught me freedom. Texas taught me what love isn't. Texas taught me I have choices. Texas taught me that "stuff" isn't important. Texas taught me I can live without. Texas taught me a lot about myself. Texas taught me about the world. Texas taught me reality. Texas taught me to know what I want. Texas taught me that I am nothing without God. Texas taught me I can have everything then nothing. Texas molded me into the person I am today.

If asked if I could change how I lived my life, the choices I made and everything I had to endure, would I? No. I am a better person because of it.

I can honestly say I am ready for whatever God has in store for me. Although I feel sometimes this phrase is overused, it's the best way for me to explain how I feel...God has given me a peace about what is to come in my life. I am ready to settle down, so to speak. I have never felt this prepared about anything in my life. I don't want to be a pushover or a "go with the flow" type of person anymore. I want to stand strong in my beliefs and I want them to be reflected in my life like never before. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Without Him I am nothing. Nothing.

There is a country song that has come out recently that speaks the truth..."if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans". For years I've had a Life List and I'm not saying it's not good to have goals and so forth, but it is not okay to make all the decisions beforehand. We have to seek God...when we plan too much we leave God out and that's when we miss out on the blessings He has for us! I have recently become friends with someone who has such a great outlook on life and that's how I want to be. I have thought a lot about the future and althought I consider myself to be more spontaneous than much of a planner, I have asked God to prepare me for the future. I have prayed for the man God would have me be with someday and to train me to be prepared for children. I want my life and the life of my future husband and future children to reflect those things as well and I know the only way that is going to happen is by relying on God. Living my life for Him, giving Him the glory!

I know some of you are probably wiping your eyes and rereading some of those last few lines because I don't talk much about having children, but it is something that was brought to my attention by my doctor. Because of some of my previous health issues, I will more than likely be a high risk pregancy and although I know God can do anything, it made me really think about children. I have always done well with older children and babies, but preschoolers scare me. I have always felt like they could tell I had no clue...how do you relate to a preschooler? So, even though I am still okay with the fact that I might never have children unless I adopt, I am okay with the fact that I may indeed one day have a preschooler. God said He would never give us more than we could handle!

Well, that's about it. I really do hope God leads me to share more often since I have gotten away from posting on here. I really love to write and share, but sometimes I forget, get tired, don't have time...but He has given me the gift and I should use it for His glory!

Weighing in...

Well, a lot has happened since my last post, but I really don't have nor the time or the energy to go there...so, I am just going to start with my life at present. Work is going really well-really busy, just the way I like it. My friend, Rhon, and I discussed this not long ago. He said he remembered (he used to be my boss) how I didn't like to be bored and neither does he. Today was crazy. Last week, my boss, Skip, was in Arkansas all week long and then today we had two folks for Arkansas with us for three days. It's all a great learning experience though!

I did manage to finally get my Florida Driver's license...I would like to kick someone's butt in Tallahassee...I was completely irrate by the time I got it which is VERY evident by my picture. When I decided I had come back to stay, I went and got car insurance and then about a week after I got it, the insurance agency told me I had to get a Florida license...no, really? Duh! I am not stupid! Anyway, I attempted to do just that, but was then informed by the state of Florida that my license was suspended....excuse me? What did you say? Suspended? Why? Because I left the state of Florida without surrendering my license and registration. Um, if I did that how exactly would I legally drive to Texas? How would I then have been able to get a license in Texas? Or register my car? Huh? They couldn't answer me...I'm not surprised. Honestly, every time I called I got a different response about what I needed to provide. First, just a copy of your current registration and insurance. No, that won't do it, we need a copy of letters from your car insurer in Texas stating the dates you had insurance with them. No, that won't work either, we've got to have a copy of the registration from when you first moved to Texas. Now why would I have that? I had the most recent one, but not the first one because it expired and I threw it away. No, that's not what we need, we need you to have the state of Texas fax us this...blah, blah, blah...really, in the end, I had to pay $150 to get my license reinstated...it didn't matter that I had been a resident of Florida my entire life up until I moved away for two years. It didn't matter that I had every piece of paper plus some they told me I needed. It didn't matter that I was an upstanding citizen because I was being treated like a criminal. My car insurance would become invalid as of March 18 if I couldn't get a license in Florida. Trust me, all the state wants is your money. It is ridiculous!

On to more pleasant things...I have begun walking each evening around San Marco...well, actually from my place up to the square which is really not a square at all more like a triangle. It's a wonderful walk and there are so many people out walking, jogging, biking...and the weather has been incredible!!! I have two goals with this walking...to enjoy myself and the fresh air and besides it's free...doesn't cost me a thing to walk up there and back...plus, I get exercise. I have figured it to be about a mile and a half round trip. I always feel refreshed when I come back and ready to tackle whatever is waiting for me here at the house. Tonight I walked up and set by the fountain and gazebo and talked with Tara for a few minutes while people watching and then I trekked it back. I was booking it on the way there and then I walked at a constant, steady pace on the way back, but not quite as fast yet still steady enough to be good exercise.

I have set a couple of goals for myself with this. One reason I moved to this area was so I could walk to town. So, my first goal would be to keep the walking up and as a result be able to lose 50 pounds by changing my eating habits and gulping water down by the gallons. So far, so good. Just by exercising and drinking water I am so much better off and know I will lose weight. My first goal is to be down 10 pounds by Easter. I really think I can do it....however, I've got to buy a scale so I can actually monitor my weight loss.

Well, tonight I hope to get a couple of things at least headed towards being on Ebay...to help me pay off some of this debt.

Starting Over

I started this blog when I was preparing to move to Texas, hence the name. It was my starting over point or so I thought. Now I find myself starting over again with many, many lessons learned and a whole lot of advice for anyone who thinks they've found love again after a divorce.

I am not going to share every bit of my life with you, but I am going to take you through my daily struggles. Where I've been and where I'm going. How much I have grown up in the past two years and mistakes I've made and seem to still be making along the way.

First off, starting over is not all it's cracked up to be. I am not exactly happy with how the last two years of my life went and I am still reeling in the problems I incurred during that time. I am paying off debt for stuff that I don't even use...my name is on a house in another part of the country and until my name comes off that house, I cannot move out on my own because the minute someone does a credit check the rest would be history. So, I am forced to live with my parents whom I truly love, but not enough to live with everyday. My dad has made it his personal vendetta of sorts to see that I pay off all my bills immediately...unfortunately, if I do not receive some kind of a God-given windfall, it will literally take me years to get out from under this mess, but I'm okay with that. It's not where I really saw myself to be at this time in my life, but it's MY mess and I will deal with it. However, my mom and I got into it over a Coach purse last night because she said if my dad found out he would think I wasn't paying on my bills. I bought the purse with money I set aside for it. It's my money. I pay my bills and I pay more than the minimum that is due. I am responsible. I was raised that way. AND I am NOT a kid, but I am their kid, their only kid whom they don't want to see fail...it's just a tough situation..so, I await the phone call for the day my name is off that mortgage...I think I'm gonna throw a party that day!

And, just when I think things are getting better because my friend Rhon has decided to introduce me to someone at his church...I blow it. I am stupid sometimes. I had to apologize to a man I have never even met yet because I was having a week of need. I suffer from a lack of adult conversation and I don't even have any kids! And to make matters even better, I actually get to meet this man on Sunday....could I make it any more AWKWARD? Geez, I'm really immature sometimes. Like this guy would even give me the time of day now...oh well, life is what you make of it...and I really made a mess of this.

Of course, I guess I don't really give myself much credit for anything good anymore and that's not because of my lack of devotion to making my life better...this week being a prime example. I was going along well in the walk of life and then BAM! I went weird. The woman was once again reduced to a girl. Amazing!

If I would just let go and let God I would be so much better off, but I try to take the reigns and it all falls apart. I am really ready for a good relationship. Some would argue that I just left a relationship within the last two months, how could I possibly be ready for another one...well, I really stepped out of that relationship a LONG time before I actually left. I am a good, Godly person who deserves a good, Godly man. I have worked hard to keep my life up to par and what do I have to show for it? I feel like Job...I am lonely. I would love to have some friends my age, but I really only have about three...and only one that lives close enough to do anything with.

I may be living in fantasy land, but I want a man that when I look into his eyes, I know he loves me...no matter what. I think I would really do good with a man that is a little older than me...someone who challenges me and holds up his end of the deal. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who is my natural fit. I don't want to be lonely. It's no fun!

I have been taking GREAT strides to improve my life since I moved back. For any of you who haven't been part of my blog life before, you may want to do a little review and see that the past two years have been tough on my body. Surgeries, circulation problems, sleep issues, broken bones...it's been interesting, but I am determined to overcome it all. I've started eating better, and taking the stairs at work. I just signed up for church softball. I can't belive that either...Plus, I am going to join the local gym because I need to keep my circulation going and an elliptical machine needs to be my new best friend. Not to mention I've agreed to try kayaking with Tara & Daniel in April. And Tara has challenged me to wakeboarding this summer...so, I've got reasons to get in shape! I need to lose about 50 pounds to be able to do things easier and losing 75 would put me back at high school graduation weight! Whoo-hoo!

Okay enough about my life for now...I'll be back!

Long Time, No Blog...oh and rappers...

No surprises...no deaths...no births...no injuries...no accidents...no exciting news...so, no blog. Sorry, friends, I've taken a breather from blogging and hope to continue it once I have some new and bright ideas. I figure at this point I probably don't have very many fans left, but please let me know if you are still out there!

I am currently at work, yes on a Sunday, but the program I am working with is giving me a hard time, so I decided to actually check my blog...which is a funny thing...I actually think I was suffering from blogitis. Everytime I thought about logging in and updating, I started thinking of all that I would need to write to bring everyone up to date and it just seemed like such a big task and I wasn't ready for it...but now I am back! I'm on the attack! I am the mac-girl! I will not slack! I'm back on track! For those that lack, join me in the back! Ok, ok...so, I haven't become a rapper just yet.

Speaking of rappers...I wonder how I could make it big with a rapper name, you know all those cool bling, bling names they have hanging around their chests...I think I could be one of those. Yo! Whazzup? Jbananabling is IN THE HOUSE! Give it up for Jfly...lol! I'm just not that creative at the moment.

I better go before I embarass myself...later peeps!

We're In!

Okay, I always say I have no excuses, but this time I do! I do have excuses! It's called moving, CPAP adventures, a now 45 minute commute, a temporary new office, a new staff person, setting up furniture and the DR Horton nightmare!

So, we're in our house...FINALLY!!! We moved in at the end of March, but it's been nonstop caos since then...so, let me briefly try to catch everyone up. I am sorry for not being able to post much and I promise to have some pics up soon.

First, like I said, we moved! We moved all our stuff in and all my stuff from storage to the garage...I just went through my stuff this last Saturday from the garage. I felt like I was on that show, "Clean House". We had the donate boxes, the throw away boxes, the keep boxes, the go-through boxes, and the craigslist items. Geez! Now all the keep boxes are in the dining room waiting to be sorted and gone through. I'll get there!

Anyway, we moved all our stuff in even though the guys weren't completely done with our house because we had major drywall/texturing issues and over the last three and a half weeks life has been interesting! We've had walls torn down to the studs and actually studs replaced and everything redone. We had to have nearly the entire house retextured due to the fact that the entire time our house was being built it rained and was cold...it was never hot...and the drywall and tape lines were showing through the texture. It's been a living nightmare. At one point, we had so much furniture covered with plastic it resembled a house that had been shut up for years and was awaiting a new owner. We had to have a new frig delivered from Lowe's because the first one had issues...door was scratched and bent and didn't align right. Then we had to have a new stove because the door was broken on the current one. We do have gas as opposed to electric which is such a change for me. Some things seem to cook faster and others slower...it's strange. Then we had a broken window in one of the dormers that was replaced along with an oddball window in the Master because one of the workers managed to shoot a nail from the outside through the frame of the window to the inside and then replaced the window with one that didn't match anything else. We had concrete that didn't match other concrete...and it's not that our house is bad...it's really, really nice and we love it...and we're happy with all they've done to repair things and not give us a hard time. We also have a great big yard and Jeff has the grass looking so good!

That brings me to the Tree Farm! I had never been to one before...it was awesome! They have these huge oak trees you can buy for like 6,000 dollars! That's not the ones we chose! We did get three Red Oaks though. They are about 2 to 3 inches wide already! It make the yard look so nice! We rec'd 2 trees with the house and to our surprise, they are silver leaf maples and they are really tall and in great shape! Even our builder was impressed! I'll be sure to include pics of these as well!

Ahhhhhhhh....I am finally sleeping soundly! I got my CPAP machine a couple of weeks ago and I love it! It has a humidifier on it and I am sound asleep in a few minutes! I am beginning to feel like I have much more energy now which is what I have longed for for so long!

Along with the move I gained a 45 minute commute to work. It's not so bad, but it just takes so long! It's primarily straight up one road...that starts out as a 2 laner and ends as a 6 laner. It's so peaceful out here where we live and we get to enjoy the small airport up the street! We see the planes taking off especially on the weekends! There are also lots of hotair balloons in the area and we frequently get to injoy them as well!

Our neighborhood is growing and we really don't look forward to the day that we can't see the gorgeous sunsets on the horizon...but it'll be awhile before our view is blocked.

Jeff has started his own business and is really enjoying it! It gives him the flexibility we need and he is just so excited! We have a website we're working on, but it's not up and running yet. It will be www.bahrenburgsignaturepainting.com. He's doing interior painting the 'ole fashion' way. He takes his time and he is really good at it. He hopes to have another employee within a year.

I am still an avid ebayer and currently sell on www.craigslist.com as well. If you haven't heard of it...check it out! There is one in every large city around the country!

I still love my job! I am in a temporary office because they are changing things around a bit and I just didn't care to inhale dust particles for the next several weeks...so, I am actually in a 'new' office...however, the administrator told me 'not to get too attached'...darn! The other children's assistant moved to another position as Youth Assistant and I miss her so already! She is a breast cancer survivor and I love to hear her speak! Everything she says in deliberate! She's amazing! The new girl, Sarah, started on Friday. She's about 22...makes me feel really old! She sweet and we talked a lot on Friday...and I look forward to getting to know her better!

VBS and Camps are just around the corner; so, my desk has been topped off with camp forms and VBS info...it's crazy! We are actually hosting our VBS at a local water park...which is awesome! The kids will just love it! We are doing all our Bible studies based on water events: Jesus walking on the water, the storm, noah's ark...etc. Check out our summer website: www.flipflopsummer.com!

Well, that's about it! I hope to keep this up a little better now that we are somewhat settled!

Everyone take care!